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» Fucktards can NOT tie their shoes.
Thu Mar 31, 2011 4:32 pm by TheDeadMan


Fucktards can NOT tie their shoes.

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Fucktards can NOT tie their shoes.

Post  TheDeadMan on Thu Mar 31, 2011 4:32 pm

OK here is something that has always bothered me. Have you ever noticed when there has been a bad car accident (or a motorcycle accident or some Fucktard fulfills their ultimate destiny and falls off of a bridge) that, when they show this on the news, the camera always zooms in on a shoe lying by the side of the road. What the Fuck. Now this is not ever a sandal or penny loafer or other type of shoe that is a slip on it is always a tennis shoe or work boot or something that you tie. Now I have been in a couple of car accidents in my life, but during each one of these, my shoes have NEVER flown off my feet and magically went out of the window. Yet they are always on the news. My theory is that either the news people carry extra shoes in the vans (or the camera man is standing in his socks) for the purpose of pointing out just how bad this occasion was and how you should feel sorry (which in my mind makes them even bigger Fucktards than the talking heads already are) or Fucktards cannot tie their shoes. Since they cannot tie their shoes (or they can’t figure out which foot they go on so they don’t wear them and leave them on the back seat) they fly off when they do something stupid and hurt someone. In order to cut down on idiots causing bad traffic accidents, you should be able to prove that you can tie your shoes before you can get your license. That way all of the dumbasses who cannot tie their shoes will be off of the road and there will be less problems. There will most likely be very few people on the roads at that point because most of the people that I see are Fucktards in some way. This of course won’t affect the morons who fall off of bridges, but what the hell, this is just natural selection anyway.

The other issue that I have with the news is that whenever something happens, they always pick the most backasswards, toothless shit-for-brains to interview about it. If I wanted to hear an opinion about what occurred, I certainly want to hear it from someone who can put more than three fucking words together in a sentence. I think that the only reason that this happens is because either Cletus is the only one who wants to be on the news, so he can brag to the other Beverly Hillbillys, or they interview people during the day when all Non-Fucktards are doing something useful for society like working. There is nothing better than a good ol’ out-of-work Fucktard dialog about the state of today’s world and all of its ills. They always have to make a point of saying when someone dies in a drive by shooting that "they were the nicest person" or "they never did anything to anyone" (all language and grammar semi-corrected so that it can be understood in this post of course). WRONG. If they knew you then they were just as big of a Fucktard as you are. It would probably take about ten minutes to find a lot of people who thought that they were a big dickhead and saw it coming. We all know that they wouldn’t have been punished if they hadn’t been doing something wrong. A couple of months ago I was watching a segment on the news where someone had been killed in "accidental" drive by shooting. They showed these two 900 pound women hugging each other and crying. Now I may have found this poignant and it may have touched my callous heart if BOTH of these mammoth behemoths weren’t talking on a cell phone at the same time. HOW FUCKING SHALLOW CAN YOU BE? Here you just lost someone who was supposed to be close to you. You are letting your emotions out on television, and you are calling aunt Bertha to let her know you are on TV. I hate the news.
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